Men. One word, so much potential for disappointment. It’s not a lie that some of the worst pickup lines to be used on this planet have come from the mouth of men with too much ego.
Unfortunately, 99% of the terrible things are directed at women and I’ve heard my own fair share. I’m going to be sharing with you a list of those I’ve had sent my way.
1. “I have chosen you”
Now, for context. This was a teacher in my school, secondary school to be precise. He taught French, and I can assure you that never have I, or any human of the female sex that I know, considered him attractive.
I’m not even going to talk about the fact that he, a man in his thirties, was interested in a teenager he was employed to teach.
He said he has chosen
2. Secondly “I usually don’t go for your type.”
This happened while I was interning and my supervisor, who admittedly, is quite attractive was preying on me. He said to me one day, “I don’t know why I like you. I usually don’t go for your type. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever asked someone like you out before.“
Now, you might be wondering what someone like you meant? It meant that I was a young girl in uni, who was probably naïve and inexperienced.
Somehow I was supposed to be appreciative of the fact that the supervisor had broken his rule against rolling with inferiors just for my sake. Isn’t God wonderful?
3. The Third Worst Pickup Line “I can make you do anything I want.”
This came as a shock to me as well. I was having a discussion on the responsibilities ascribed to each sex in relationships and how I didn’t think I could ever conform and next thing I hear is “You’re only talking because you’re single, once you’re in a relationship you’ll become humble. If we’re in a relationship, I can make you do anything I want.“
I went to bed really troubled that night. So you better watch out ladies, apparently, some men are out here trying to be remote controls.
4. One of the Worst Pickup Lines “Take off this thing.” [points condescendingly to my outfit]
Now, this has to be the most disrespectful thing someone said to me. I went out on a first date with someone who appeared to be a gentleman, wearing a long tunic.
After it ended, he suggested that we go to a bar and I agreed. Then he said, “but you need to take off this thing and wear something sexy.”
My lovely tunic was what some unfortunate fellow was referring to as “thing.” We didn’t go to the bar again, you didn’t
5. “I can’t wait to kiss you.”
Now, this sounds very romantic – out of context. However, I did not know this guy. We just met and next thing I knew, this unattractive brother was by my side telling me he couldn’t wait to kiss me.
Now, I think men think that sexy. You know, people have been brainwashed by the idea of “alpha males” in novels so they want to act that out in real life.
Unfortunately, there’s a reason why I pay money to read about those kinds of men – because I don’t see them in real life, or ever want to.
6. Worst Pickup Line“Is that how you’ll treat me when we get married?”
Again, I didn’t know this guy. I didn’t know his name and I still don’t. Unlike the previous guy, there was no “met” occasion. I was just standing in front of my house when this stranger was passing and insisted on having my number.
He was genuinely shocked when I told him to get out. You know, like it’s perfectly normal to see a young woman in front of her house and disturb her life.
My brother hit me with “Is this how you’ll be insulting me after we get married?” I don’t still know, I think I was supposed to have a rethink after that statement. It’s not every day you get a man who wants to marry you after all.
I have a long list and I’m sure every woman does as well. They’re hilarious, irritating and frankly disappointing. Men can definitely do better with lines.